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Okay people...don't bash me too hard here (he-he): Since I have been in Hanoi, I have only met the WRONG types of women. Either they don't speak English or they are gold-diggers (thinking I am rich). Where do "upper-class,educated" HN-girls hang out at? I can't be the first foreigner to raise this question!
MEETINGLOCALGIRLS (add tags) Why? Details of tags
answered about 2 months ago by hnboy78
First you must think about ur self what do u want at them? you are accusing a problem that are happen in over the countries, its not only in Hanoi. Let try to smarter, protect ur self and find a right one for you better you are thinking a place educate for them. I think you need a education for your self ahead women.
answered about 2 months ago by angelonbroomstick
hahaha well you met wrong types of women for the right reasons.
answered about 2 months ago by virezo
If you want to meet *educated Vietnamese women, grow some hair. Vietnamese don't like bald persons, especially women/girls. What do you want from them - educated women? Hanging out? No, they have to stay at home looking after their families, at offices to work, at universities/libraries to be *more* educated. As I know, there are some *educated levels here in Vietnam: bad, poor, fair, average, good, great... ;)) Which one, RIKI? Finally, what is your concept of "educated"? Tell me and maybe I can help you find some places full of *educated women.
answered about 2 months ago by tangoLA
Hi Riki, Well, I shave my head bald... :) ... and I've also asked this question many times myself... The short answer is, upper-class educated Hanoian girls don't 'hang out'. They're taught to spend time primarily with their families, and then marry fairly early: 24 - 26 is considered to be the ideal age for marriage, which leaves a very narrow window between graduation from university and domestic life. Moreover, Hanoian girls don't 'fool around' - they (along with Hanoian guys) are typically quite serious about marriage in romantic relationships, cherishing, for better or worse, a concept of love that may seem to jaded Westerners as quixotic. The guys they tend to meet are people who are introduced by third parties, or whom they meet at work, or (rarely) who live in the same neighborhood. Hanoian women also face the danger that their reputations and hence marriageability will be sullied, so they're careful about whom they're seen hanging out with. Add to this the fact that Westerners in general are seen as being promiscuous (not a bad assumption), and you can see the outlines of the predicament. As the irate tone of the some of the responders indicates, being a player in Vietnamese society can really rock the boat, and so one has to be extremely careful to be respectful and to not disrupt the social fabric that Vietnamese women are embedded in. That being said, and assuming your intentions are honorable, one way to meet educated Vietnamese women is through social dancing. It's part of the curious heritage from the French colonial period that although many forms of social contact are frowned upon, it's perfectly legitimate to cha-cha-cha and tango the night away with the opposite gender. There are many venues for learning and practicing social dance around Hanoi. I myself will be teaching a six-week series of beginner Argentine Tango at Quan Hoa Hotel, No. 20, Ngo 165, Cau Giay, that starts this Wednesday, Sep. 17, 2008, 7:30 pm - 10 pm: http://letuhuy.bol.ucla.edu/home.html I'm part of the Hanoi Tango Club: http://wordpress.com/tag/tango-hanoicom/ There's also a happening salsa/tango scene at Nocbar on Hoang Hoa Tham on Friday nights (tango 8 pm - 9 pm), and various milongas (tango dances) during the weekend and week. Hope this helped.
answered about 2 months ago by findaway
Thats the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my entire life!!!! Well, Im not sayin its entirely untrue but im totally disappointed by most of the answers that had been given esp. TangoLA Basically what you all done is generalising the whole population and accusing every Vietnamese/ Hanoian woman having the same styles and same manners, same attitude. That's just ridiculous!!! Human Rights Please! Me, a well-educated woman, may raise a few points for you all to consider. 1st of all, everyone is unique in their own way, know what you looking for in a girl/ boy for your own good but do not assume that the person you meet will have everything you are looking for or worse, dont try to change them to meet your requirements. 2nd of all, not all well-educated Hanoian women got married by the year 24-26 to a third party and hang out with Vietnamese boyfriend and desperately want to get married and fulfill the dream of being a good wife and good daughter-in-law, living as slave to their husbands, esp well-educated women of my generation (people in their 20s).Things had changed PEOPLE!!! Wake up please!!! 3rd of all, if someone is truly well-educated, they will understand there is more than superficial, shallow appearance. For goodness sake, if someone decided that she doesnt like you because you are bald, it doesnt sound like shes that well-educated anyway. Run for your life, my dear! And moreover, not all well-educated women give a damn about social dancing. Like I said, everyone is unique and special and have different interests so PLEASE dont just assume everyone will be the same hanging out at the same spots and doing the same things. Gosh what kind of society it must be if all women doin that? I thought older people like you lots would understand these things better as the years gone by ... but hey, guess not! Last by not least, players aint good in any kind of society, so dont just say that players isnt good in Vietnam!!!
answered about 2 months ago by teacherman
Aha, you and me both Riki, sigh .... [the above poster climbs into a giant flame suit, and prepares to make giant generalisations, beware ...] Vietnamese girls date for the money .. the higher their educational level, the higher your income better be ... Educated Western girls date for guys with both money and "western values" (meaning someone who is both responsible and who can relate to them) If you are lucky enough to meet one.both of these criteria .. then here you go: http://hanoigrapevine.com/
answered about 2 months ago by longan
wow, my sentiments don't seem to be too far off Jimbo's (respectfully) for a change ! "hate" may be a little harsh for me though, and “all” well just wouldn’t be accurate. As far as i can tell, Riki's question is genuine and innocent enough, he is merely relaying his actual experience of not having met the right person. There is a generalisation that “upper class, educated” women all hang out at certain places which does not seem an unreasonable assumption as the “upper class, educated” would tend to be like minded and people of like mind tend to hang out together. Not all of course (as that is merely just a generalisation), as people as individuals generally have the right and exercise the right to be different. But it’s hard to answer a behavioural question without generalising, because answering all possible outcomes is well impossible, and even breaking it down into categories is plain hard work, so we as simpletons living in a foreign city merely write from our own experiences (as opposed to well thought out research), there are no absolute truths here, just general ranting. This answer so far is of no help to Riki however, and unfortunately I don’t think I have an actual answer as meeting the right (educated, upper class, poor, green hairy monster, whatever) person is more a game of chance than a straight function of a function. I’m pretty sure the sort of person you would want to meet, probably had an evening amongst friends and/or family over dinner somewhere with a few drinks, followed by possible karaoke and back home not too late to start work. And although the sort of people you may want to meet are probably hanging out together, Hanoi is too big a place to narrow down to a particular bar or venue. I think TangoLA seems to have provided one possible practical solution, my only suggestions to increase any likelihood of meeting the right person are apart from just being decent is to try something new, go somewhere else, learn more Vietnamese, get to know more people as whatever you have been doing hasn’t obviously worked for you, but good luck. And thus my ranting ends.
answered about 2 months ago by RIKI
Wow...I am impressed my ALL these replies. I mostly have give credit what Tango says. Despite my search being sincere, I do in fact get judged as a “western-player”. I suppose the "nose ring, shaved head & black attire & buff-posture" curses me. I have shared conversations with the types of woman I am looking for. They all explain that since I stand out in the crowd, if we were seen together, she might be judged in a biased light (by conservatives in the HN community). Sadly, this might be true. I shared one short-lived romance with a girl who would only meet me in secret. As perfect as she was, that relationship ended when I would not buy her an iPhone upon my return from the USA. I love it…I am freak AND a sugar daddy (he-he)! I have even gone so far as to join online dating websites like http://vietnamcupid.com, http://vietsingle.com & http://docthan.com (all with a profile introduction that was politely translated into Vietnamese). This was a LITTLE helpful. Some of you ask me what I mean by “educated”. Perhaps I used the wrong word. I mean a “cultured/upper-class” girl who has been raised from within a family that is self-sufficient in business & open-minded enough to take chances. Bla-bla-bla…I sound like every other single guy looking for love (he-he). I know I am just asking for trouble by starting this post. Still, since I have no shame (or limits), I figured I would open up a can of worms & what debate I can unleash!
Reading twice...Findaway hit the mark too.
answered about 2 months ago by bobthebob01
hum... this question has some good argumentative potential! let's see.... one thing i would say, is that Hanoi is full of people from around the world and Vietnamese of course that don't understand words the same way due to being a non English native speaker. I'd say that it is the first thing that usually ignite discussion here. Also i agree to some extend with "findaway" but you can also be almost sure that "findaway" lived abroad or is in direct contact with foreigners on a daily basis, looking at the way she writes. Therefore has a different views than Vietnamese women born, raised and lived in Hanoi only. The other undeniable fact, is that east and west are just plain and simply different. So for the 2 to meet and feel comfortable together requires changes/compromise from both parties. Therefore reducing the chances for it to work as frequently as in a society where everybody has more or less the same culture, mentality... It does mean it's possible, i have friends that are very happy with their Vietnamese partners (and i mean not just western men with Vietnamese women, but the other way too). Now i think riki should just understand where Vietnam is coming from and therefore understand that certain values are here to stay or change slowly. And just for the record, i know a bald man who has been very happy with a Vietnamese women for quite a while, so riki: Don't give up on the hair style! Looking at this post and findaway's post (http://newhanoian.xemzi.com/aska/answers/qid/1127) maybe you too should meet and see where it goes, no?
answered about 2 months ago by potato_princess
Hey, you meet wrong type doesn't mean all Hanoian women/ladies are gold-diggers or dating for money. I'm a well-educated lady, also interested in Western man but the point is I spend almost 12hrs/day working, so then what time for dating or hanging out? I personally think love is something which the more you want, the more you can't reach. It will come when you least expect. Don't expect too much about others, especial the one you find through internet...
Ah, one thing you should know, Riki: Don't ever find your Miss Right at those website such as http://vietnamcupid.com, http://vietsingle.com & http://docthan.com cause she won't be there.. (hehe) That kind of website is just for girls who want to marry a Western man who can help them live aboard as well as cover everything (like Iphone wanted girl)
Thanks people. This is great. Ya know...where ever I go, I always seem to "light a fire & walk away" (he-he). I am good at getting people's panties in a wad I guess. About the hair: Not my choice people. God cursed me with a thinning hair line. It was either shave it all off or look like Bozo The Clown (only American's will get that). For those who REALLY want to bash me, look at my profile (when I "did" have hair)!
Make no mistake Hippo...I am "wierd" (according to some). I do not conform to the norm, I love porn & thrive off the WWW). Damn...I should see a doctor.
RIKI You say more I seem like a ridiculous thing. Let take it like a experience for your life and smart when look people around. Everybody cannot help you instead of you must help yourself.
answered about 2 months ago by bethanybauman
can we get an arrogance filter in the ANH section, please?
and/or a 'respect your host country' filter? Thank you, management, for your swift attention to this request.
answered about 2 months ago by Atomic
Best.Thread.EVER.
answered about 2 months ago by QUYDA
The (simple) question is how "upper-class,educated" you are? Remember, you get what you give!
answered about 2 months ago by hippo
arrogance filter?? Kinda hard to be PC in a place like Hanoi, we should all come together and try to help RIKI get laid for free.
answered about 2 months ago by alpha
Wow. I turn my back for a few hours and RIKI's love life has everybody all worked up. I know that this can be a heated topic. I know that there are differences of opinion and interpretation, but at least keep the posts constructive in some way. We've got to pull the direct attacks between users, the ad hominem nonsense, and those posts that aren't doing anything but serving to inflame the situation. I've got better things to do than babysit this thread, so keep it respectable. Please.
answered about 2 months ago by Finnmaccool
You could always become a monk. I hear there are many monasteries looking for candidates. That's what I had to do. Let's face it, we are cultures apart and how will you ever know if the socio-economic divide can be breached? As far as my experiences go, it is a case of the better educated or more cultured a Vietnamese girl is, the higher her financial expectations are. Quite frankly, is it really that different to Western society? Maybe the Vietnamese girls just put their expectations out there more openly. I think western women are capable of being more covert, devious and secretive in their motivations. For the lucky few in Vietnam they have managed to sustain an Anglo-Viet relationship, but they are the exceptions rather than the rule. So if you are looking for a Vietnamese partner, don't hold your breath. There are always expat ladies you can chat up......
Ya know...there WAS that ONE girl (selling fruit on the street) that gave me a little smile. Maybe I should lower my standards a little (closer to my level...he-he). Hell, she was just as hot as "iPhone-girl" (or the "blue-bloods" I am scouting for). Thanks to everyone for setting me straight. MANAGEMENT...SORRY TO START A FIRE. It was fun though!
This discussion just make me feel bad for all the women out there. Fine! Leave me out, say im not like one of them you are talkin' bout. But still, for all the people who blame on their working hours, get a grip of yourself, get a life. My job is great and I absolutely love it, but there is NO FREAKING WAY that I'm gonna let it get in the way of my social life. Everyone needs a career, but PLEASE do find the balance because there are much into life than just work, work, work like a workaholic. And for the people that are truly gold-diggers or being materialistic . Thats just sick and digusting! I hate those people. The reality is you do find those people in all society and there isnt much that you can do about it (Ok, Sad I know). But I guess you'll know who your real friend is after a while. Also, I kinda feel bad that Riki hasnt seen anyone that would be willing to give him a smile except the little girl on the street. Our society has got rotten to the core! I'll try to make a change in my world then, at least from tomorrow I'll give my taxi driver a smile!!! lol, im all about women rights these days so I'm sorry that went on a bit too harsh on you lots. So to leave it on a positive note, Riki, hope you'll find the well-educated woman that you are seeking for. And to the rest of you, well, ...work hard, play hard and enjoy yourself while you can. Life is too short and it's for living. To all the ladies (regardless of your races and nationalities) out there, love yourself and respect yourself, value yourself and learn to connect with yourself because if you don't, nobody will!!...
answered about 2 months ago by Stosskraft
RIKI' I think the best way for you to find a girl is just give up! Really once you stop looking and focus on being happy yourself then you will meet the right person. I have an amazing beautiful Vietnamese finance whom I met after a good string of bad luck and it happened very unexpectedly..once I "gave up" looking. Forget the women, hit the gym, join a band or do what ever makes you happy, just stop trying to pick up and let things happen naturally, girls can sense desperation a mile way and the good ones will avoid you while the "bad" one will be aiming for you like a target. Good luck
PS RIKI, Did you find a martial arts club yet?
Thanks people (and yes, found my source martial arts supplies). Over & out...
answered about 2 months ago by Cresent
Hahha, this topic should be ranked the funniest of all time on this website (lol). I have laughed so much and thank you. Havent been so relaxed for ages! Agree with Stosskraft. Things normally come to you when least expected. Believe me. I have experienced this several times (but not yet in romance). Just be yourself, relaxed, smile more and follow your intuition. Give it a go when you see a potentiality even in the most weird thing. Maybe a short talk with the fruit lady. Hahhah and in my opinion, being well educated or highly cultured doesnt depend on how much academic education one gets but how good his / her personality is. Its the matter of the heart rather than the head. LOL.
answered about 2 months ago by ibquinny
same old story-"the best things often happen when you are least expecting them" Probably cliche, however true, and by the way I had I really good friend of mine (viet female) who found true happiness on the net, so not all on the net are chicks who are goldiggers or sleezy porn addicts, you never know right?dont give up man, she is out there, but maybe in another province?
Hmmmm...maybe I have just bought that ONE girl an iPhone. And then their was that pregnant call-girl who got hit up by her LAST foreigner-man (& then bailed). And then their was that OTHER one (but she had an adam's apple & big feet...not sure what was under the hood).Hmmm...what's a lonely-boy to do?...
answered about 2 months ago by pippasweetie
Thanks so much for your hair shots in your profile. I loved them. Are you thinking of changing jobs/companies? Sure seems to be a lot of expats who meet nice girls through work and pair up (yes, even though some are already married ).Guess you would then have something in common from the start, and as many people have mentioned the educated ladies spend a lot of time there. Also my husband often gets approached when he goes to Hash House Harriers (the conversation cuts short when he mentions his wife and kids) and there have been lots of pairings from that group. Good luck. BTW Many western ladies I know aren't concerned about whether or not men have hair on their heads or not (just if it is sticking out of their ears or noses) pippasweetie
Oh, this is all quite funny now (and I am sure readers are tired of this string). In closing, I will say this: I have turned full circle. I closed all my internet-dating accounts & plan to be less obvious when out there looking. That's all folks....
answered about 4 weeks ago by mackyhernandez
one more thing. throttle back on the porn. your thousand-yard porn stare may be freaking out the upper-class, educated women. peace and good luck
answered about 4 weeks ago by markt103
haha.. best line ever "one more thing. throttle back on the porn. your thousand-yard porn stare may be freaking out the upper-class, educated women."
answered about 4 weeks ago by Aries
good decisions Rik, just enjoy your life, have coffee sometimes with friends...you ll eventually meet her, may be through work :) Think about women in Western countries and how hard it is for them to fall in love. Its the same here in VN, even very open minded ones need to take time to fall in love, at least over a sincere crush, not over some drinks and chit chat.
